Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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