it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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