Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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