Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
