kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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