Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also, beer. Big fan.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
