and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize