My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize