Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
