Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
