I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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