I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
