Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
