so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just google imaged poop.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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