if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
