oh god the rape fog is back!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
