Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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