I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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