apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
