I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize