I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
