Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize