Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
