i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
