Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
