You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
