Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards

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(440): View more from Ohio

i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense

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(410): View more from Maryland

She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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(904): View more from Florida

He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE

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(901): View more from Tennessee

so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist

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(417): View more from Missouri

I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.

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(904): View more from Florida

I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?

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(631): View more from New York

Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere

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