Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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