let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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