What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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