I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
