Dual....:-)
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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