if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
