well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
