If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had to cum in my sink.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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