Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
