So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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