Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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