Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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