you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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