That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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