I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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