I just made out with a guy for $7.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
