I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
