i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
True college students do jello shots in the library
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
