That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
