butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
