that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
