i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
