I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
