margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
