i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
