I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
