I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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