i need an iv and a liver transplant
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
