it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize