OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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