"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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