I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
