and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
