So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My feet surprised me
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