toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
