Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
