will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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