dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
